I Won the Laziest British Lottery

My wife and I may be the only people on earth who love to receive scam emails.  We just very much enjoy stupidity.  That may be why we enjoy Judge Judy so much: stupidity, and someone to yell at the stupidity.  Such stupidity doesn’t shine much brighter than in the misspellings and bad grammar in scam emails attempting to be official-looking (and let me tell you, whenever someone who was scammed by such a thing appears on Judge Judy, my wife and I revel in the shear bliss of it all).

However, I’ve been very disappointed by the scam emails I’ve gotten of late.  When I get a scam email, I expect it to be quite long, use British Pounds, and link to a BBC article as a source of legitimacy.  Much to my chagrin, I received this the other day:

You have been approved for a lump sum pay out of £1.350 Million incashTo claim your prize it is important that you acknowledge your receiptof this correspondence.

Now, seriously.  If you want to scam me, at least put some effort into it, especially since I apparently win the British Lottery multiple times a day.  It doesn’t even say that I won a lottery or anything.  This was such a disappointing attempt that I almost replied to them asking them to get more creative in their scamming.  Without doing so, even the extremely dumb would be fooled.

At minimum, they should say the following (which I just received):

Dear Winner,
Winning Notification
This is to notify you that you have won £250,000.00 in our online email lottery in which e-mail addresses are
picked randomly by computerised balloting, powered by the Internet. Your email address was one of the lucky winners in this year bonnanza draw.
Ref: LSUK/2031/8161/04
Batch: R3/A312-59
Winning number: {47}
Draw #1055)
To claim your prize, please contact:
Email: x@x.co.uk with your
Name,Full Address,Country,Age,Gender,Occupation,Phone.
Tell: +44 703 191 4701

See, lottery scams are pretty darn dull.  I much prefer the Nigerian prince emails, as they tend to be much longer allowing for far more misspellings.  But this does satisfy the minimum requirements of scamming.  That is, it tells me “why” I’m getting such money.  And for amusement purposes, it includes bad grammar and misspellings.  It’s not choice, but it’s at least mildly amusing.

The fortunate thing, though, is that even though I don’t remember buying any British Lottery tickets, I’ve apparently won!  The “bonnanza draw” is “powered by the Internet” after all.  Although, I’m not sure why they have numbers if it’s an email address drawing… buy hey, I won!


10 responses to “I Won the Laziest British Lottery

  1. What, you’re not getting the inheritance from a long lost relative, who died childless, and they had to search for you for a long time…and they suggest they’ll keep 70%, and you get 30%…and so forth and so on?

    Those are my favorites. I’ve had at least ten long lost relatives die from several horrible causes during the last two weeks.


  2. I don’t really get many, except for the occasional Nigerian prince. It’s annoying when I do, as I only check my e-mails when I’m expecting something important… 🙂

  3. But Mercer, you have to revel in the absurdity of it all. With all the bad grammar and the misspellings, it’s simply amusing to think that people actually get scammed by this stuff.

    Although, I am a bit tired of the lottery ones, I get those now at the exclusion of almost all others, except a Libyan plane-crash now and then. In fact, I just checked my email, and there’s yet another British lottery (it’s always British, for some reason. Do scammers think that makes them more trustworthy?) scam. They’re really not very creative.

  4. I just won the bonnanza draw!!

  5. Dont take such mails seriously man!! These are made for trash only, so u may delete such mails without reading

  6. But again, very often reading them can be ever so much fun.

  7. Oh, I’ve received the same email as what Charlie received, and it’s so strange that my winning number is yours: {47}

    I don’t think they’re so not creative.

    I’ve just replied to Barrington and said that I was glad and moved to get the winning prize.

  8. Hey! I’ve received that too XD
    I’m very rich hahahaha

  9. I just got one too,
    what do they get out of this if its a scam?

  10. The scam usually is that they send you a fake check, you deposit it and then wire them real money back to cover things like “taxes” or “fees.” Then their check doesn’t clear. Sometimes they even ask for money in advance.

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