Tag Archives: British Lottery

You May Have Already Not Won the Lottery!

I was just randomly checking my non-political blog (the blog you’re currently reading) stats, and even though I haven’t updated for about two weeks or so, and to my amazement my site-views have shot up dramatically over the past few days.  I was quite surprised, honestly, and then I figured out why.  The vast majority of the views were of my lottery scam post, and the vast majority of them came from searches related to the scam email.  Which means, of course, there must be a new wave of these emails, and people wanted to figure out if it was legitimate.

Now, I’m happy that people know enough to at least question these emails, but I’m also very disturbed that to a certain level, some think it’s even a possibility that these emails are legitimate.  In fact, it rather scares me.

So, if you’re one of those people who have found my blog through a search of some keywords in a lottery email, please take note of the following: you have not won the lottery.  You will never win the lottery.  When you receive an email stating that you won a lottery you never even entered, you have not won the lottery.  When said email comes from a country you’ve never even been to, again, you have not won the lottery.  When the email also contains innumerable typos, say it with me now, you have not won the lottery.

That said, if you’re reading this you have just won the Rumpusgoopus/Comrus lottery!  To collect your winnings please send me all your personal information, bank account numbers, social security numbers, and your mother’s maiden name, and I’ll send you a check for 9,340,000,000,000 British Pounds Sterling ($3,000 of which you’ll have to send back to me for tax purposes).


I Won the Laziest British Lottery

My wife and I may be the only people on earth who love to receive scam emails.  We just very much enjoy stupidity.  That may be why we enjoy Judge Judy so much: stupidity, and someone to yell at the stupidity.  Such stupidity doesn’t shine much brighter than in the misspellings and bad grammar in scam emails attempting to be official-looking (and let me tell you, whenever someone who was scammed by such a thing appears on Judge Judy, my wife and I revel in the shear bliss of it all).

However, I’ve been very disappointed by the scam emails I’ve gotten of late.  When I get a scam email, I expect it to be quite long, use British Pounds, and link to a BBC article as a source of legitimacy.  Much to my chagrin, I received this the other day:

You have been approved for a lump sum pay out of £1.350 Million incashTo claim your prize it is important that you acknowledge your receiptof this correspondence.

Now, seriously.  If you want to scam me, at least put some effort into it, especially since I apparently win the British Lottery multiple times a day.  It doesn’t even say that I won a lottery or anything.  This was such a disappointing attempt that I almost replied to them asking them to get more creative in their scamming.  Without doing so, even the extremely dumb would be fooled.

At minimum, they should say the following (which I just received):

Dear Winner,
Winning Notification
This is to notify you that you have won £250,000.00 in our online email lottery in which e-mail addresses are
picked randomly by computerised balloting, powered by the Internet. Your email address was one of the lucky winners in this year bonnanza draw.
Ref: LSUK/2031/8161/04
Batch: R3/A312-59
Winning number: {47}
Draw #1055)
To claim your prize, please contact:
Email: x@x.co.uk with your
Name,Full Address,Country,Age,Gender,Occupation,Phone.
Tell: +44 703 191 4701

See, lottery scams are pretty darn dull.  I much prefer the Nigerian prince emails, as they tend to be much longer allowing for far more misspellings.  But this does satisfy the minimum requirements of scamming.  That is, it tells me “why” I’m getting such money.  And for amusement purposes, it includes bad grammar and misspellings.  It’s not choice, but it’s at least mildly amusing.

The fortunate thing, though, is that even though I don’t remember buying any British Lottery tickets, I’ve apparently won!  The “bonnanza draw” is “powered by the Internet” after all.  Although, I’m not sure why they have numbers if it’s an email address drawing… buy hey, I won!